I’ve spent
the past five weeks hanging out in northwest hospitals as a result of my son
rupturing his appendix followed by an infection and complications. I’ve felt
vulnerable. I’ve had to make quick decisions based on information thrown at me
because time was ticking against him. I have chosen to trust health
professionals whom I have no relationship with. I don’t understand medical
terminology very well. Only two factors that led to feelings of greater
vulnerability. All the time, my body is tight because I have forgotten to
breathe in the emotional upheaval swelling within me.
As I was
navigating through the structural challenges of the medical system and calming
my emotional stress, I couldn’t help notice the number of people who were
walking a similar path without anyone by their side. Health-literacy quickly
raised itself in my consciousness. And, then Dee popped in to my head. I have a
difficult time thinking about health-literacy without thinking of Dee. Dee
introduced me to this concept and gave me a language to an issue I’ve witnessed
almost daily in my life as an educator in community. And so, as I thought of
Dee and health-literacy and of my fortune to be able to navigate a system that
is unfamiliar ground to me, I also thought of Dee retiring from the formal
world of paid work and how much she will be missed. I sat in a hospital waiting
room and typed a farewell to Dee that a colleague later read out at her
retirement party. I’ve posted some of my farewell as this week’s blog.
Dee,
I'm sending
this farewell courtesy of Northern Health's free wifi, which boots you out
every 10 seconds so you have to continually log in and I fear may be the reason
behind people's high blood pressure way more than the illness that brought them
here in the first place. And then I think of you and my mind jumps to health
and technology literacy. I remember that many people won't even be
able to turn on the wifi and then I think of you more and shake my head, geez,
many of the people I've wandered hospital wards with in the past 3 weeks most
likely don't have access to a computer, let alone figuring out wifi.
This is how
it is for me Dee. When I think of you it's a rich, dazzling tapestry of images
and words and experiences and visions and dreams, all woven together over a long
history. Yet when I try to write about some of these images they just tumble
out as flat words on a computer screen.
You often
said that I make your head swirl, my ideas too quick, too jumbled, too fast in connecting little dots to huge pictures. Yet, that's not at all true. You
have always been the nimble one, the quiet radical, holding those absolute
characteristics of a great adult educator. You are the mid-wife that Friere so
eloquently talked about. Helping learners give birth to the knowledge they hold
within, helping them figure out what they needed to articulate, what they
already knew and helping them to enlargen their experience and knowledge so
they can understand the world around them and fill their lives with dreams and
goals.
How to say
goodbye to you!
When I try
to say goodbye I have this waterfall of images cascading in front of me. Sandi is
always first and foremost in these images. We were the three amigos giving
birth to radical ideas together - you always accusing Sandi and I of greatness
as if you were apart from that greatness. We were great together, the three of
us. We believe in each other, we care for each other and we share a passion
together.
Images
tumble in my mind: bell beavers, a-Doug and d-Doug, flat Matthew being touted
around research workshops, wine and sleep-overs, bed + breakfast on Haida
Gwai'i, Rural Roots and rooting around in research, the weird and wonderful
ACME, meeting around picnic tables, the Man-In-the-Middle and so on and so on.
The
man-in-the-middle, I see him in the hospital this morning, I've seen him a lot
these past three weeks in Prince Rupert hospital, Terrace hospital and again
today in Wrinch. He is, as you reminded us, not so sexy and sometimes
unpleasant and difficult to be around. He is sometimes absent from the moment,
or too silent or too loud, he's too angry or too passive, he is alone with no
advocate and he is somebody's brother, uncle, father, maybe husband, one thing
is for sure he is somebody's son. Who is there for him today as I am with my
son? Who is asking him about his needs? Who is nurturing his worries and fears?
Who is telling him he is important and needed? Who is helping him birth his
ideas? Who is reminding the professionals that he has intelligence and holds
knowledge, he just simply doesn't understand the words they use? Change the
words and he'll share what he knows. Where is his champion? And that question
brings me back to you Dee. You have been the champion for all the people in the
middle. You've fought for them, you've taught for them. You've supported the
people in the middle that you've met to be their own champions because you
never have confused a lack of ability to articulate one's knowledge as a lack
of lived experience and intelligence.
I salute you
my friend and my teacher. You've been my champion too. You've believed in me
and you've seen in me what I sometimes haven't seen in myself. You've drawn out
ideas and confidence and action from me. And you've allowed me to surprise myself.
When I'm with you I feel alive and smart and creative. It's what you give to
all of us Dee, You, the adult educator extraordinaire. You look in our eyes and
you see what we can be and you stand by us and help us find a way to bring that
out. For that I thank you.
Now that I've shared my goodbye to Dee, I’m hoping you
might post or email me (adocherty@upperskeena.ca) your goodbye to Dee. It can result in a great big thank
you e-card for Dee and a worthy set of reflections of literacy as it is today
in British Columbia.
Please take a few minutes and share what is going on
in literacy today and salute a great adult educator, Dee McRae.
Such beautiful words. They make my eyes sting. Dee, I hardly knew you but have known about you for years. Just hearing about you and the things and people you were involved with gives me hope. You will continue to be an inspiration to me and many others like me. The ripples of you go far beyond your immediate circle. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteDee's last day of work was Friday March 21. Today is Wednesday March 26. It is 1:30. I have walked down the hall many times over the last couple days to talk to Dee. I would run many ideas by Dee. I would tell Dee what I was thinking so she could guide me, be excited with me, prop me up, and share her knowledge with me. Dee, I have said thank you numerous times over the last 2 weeks and over the last 20 years but THANK YOU!!!
ReplyDeleteAnne and Dee I am sure we have another book or 2 to write and numerous ideas to explore and projects to work on. I think we are just beginning.
Dee here:
ReplyDeleteI do appreciate your wonderful words, Sandi, Anne and others, but it is a strange place to be as a humble introvert. Retirement is like attending your own funeral. People say fabulous things about you. Fabulous, kind and extreme things. At one point, you may think it is time to jump back in the pond and forget retirement, but then it goes so far that you know you could not live up to the legend that has just been created around you! How could you ever be what these folks are suggesting you were? At this point, retirement looks like a great escape. Resurrection is not possible nor even desirable. What is desirable is staying connected and in touch with the people and ideas. So thank you. Let's all move on to the next level of our game together, whatever that looks like.
Hi Dee,
ReplyDeleteIn the spirit of staying connected, I would like to add how much I have always appreciated you and still do. I'm sure that you will find all kinds of ways to enjoy retirement, stay in touch, and contribute in that thoughtful, interesting-turn-of-phrase way that you have. If you're in Vancouver, please come by and see us at Decoda. We'll always be delighted to see you. Warm thoughts....
Hey Dee,
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your retirement. My first memory of meeting you was at a meeting debrief at Java's. There were a few of us there ( I can't recall exactly who) and I was hyped up from our meeting and began rambling my thoughts off in what I finally admitted was probably completing disconnected and difficult to follow. You reassured me by describing my thinking as circular and that you shared a similar communication style. After that I always felted connected and supported in sharing my thoughts and feelings while working with you and others.
For me resurrection represents new life and liberation. I wish you all the best in your new life and hope to have the opportunity for more circular conversations with you in the future.